Women Quotations
Authors that have more than 2 quotes:
Germaine Greer,
Mignon McLaughlin
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| I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else. |
| - Bella Abzug |
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| When a woman comes to her glass, she does not employ her time in making herself look more advantageously what she really is, but endeavours to be as much another creature as she possibly can. Whether this happens because they stay so long and attend their work so diligently that they forget the faces and persons which they first sat down with, or whatever it is, they seldom rise from the toilet the same woman they appeared when they began to dress. |
| - Joseph Addison |
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| I'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four. |
| - Fred Allen |
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| She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. |
| - Woody Allen |
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| I married beneath me - all women do. |
| - Nancy Astor |
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| The first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on woman. |
| - Nancy Astor |
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| The basic Female body comes with the following accessories: garter belt, panti-girdle, crinoline, camisole, bustle, brassiere, stomacher, chemise, virgin zone, spike heels, nose ring, veil, kid gloves, fishnet stockings, fichu, bandeau, Merry Widow, weepers, chokers, barrettes, bangles, beads, lorgnette, feather boa, basic black, compact, Lycra stretch one-piece with modesty panel, designer peignoir, flannel nightie, lace teddy, bed, head. |
| - Margaret Atwood |
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| A woman wears her tears like jewelry. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| When I glimpse the backs of women's knees I seem to hear the first movement of Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. |
| - Stanley Baldwin |
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| It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time. |
| - Tallulah Bankhead |
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| You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone. |
| - Sir James Matthew Barrie |
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| If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. |
| - Dave Barry |
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| You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. |
| - Dave Barry |
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| The torment that so many young women know, bound hand and foot by love and motherhood, without having forgotten their former dreams. |
| - Simone de Beauvoir |
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| It is because of men that women dislike one another. |
| - Jean de La Bruyère |
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| If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments. |
| - Art Buchwald |
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| God did it on purpose so that we may love you men instead of laughing at you. |
| - Mrs. Patrick Campbell |
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| If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. |
| - Thomas Carlyle |
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| Variability is one of the virtues of a woman. It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy. So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem. |
| - Gilbert Keith Chesterton |
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| Men get laid, but women get screwed. |
| - Quentin Crisp |
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| What men desire is a virgin who is a whore. |
| - Edward Dahlberg |
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| Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater. |
| - Bette Davis |
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| A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. |
| - Chauncey M. Depew |
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| It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. |
| - Alexandre Dumas |
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| Howiver, I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men. |
| - George Eliot |
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| I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out. |
| - George Eliot |
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| A woman can look both moral and exciting... if she also looks as if it was quite a struggle. |
| - Edna Ferber |
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| Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one. |
| - W.C. Fields |
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| A woman should be an illusion. |
| - Ian Fleming |
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| Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet. |
| - Brendan Francis |
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| A woman should soften but not weaken a man. |
| - Sigmund Freud |
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| Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue. |
| - Hermione Gingold |
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| The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. |
| - Robert Graves |
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| Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate? |
| - Germaine Greer |
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| The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges. |
| - Germaine Greer |
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| Women have very little idea of how much men hate them. |
| - Germaine Greer |
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| I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be. |
| - Benny Hill |
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| A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares. |
| - Elbert Hubbard |
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| A woman's whole life is a history of the affections. |
| - Washington Irving |
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| Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little. |
| - Samuel Johnson |
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| A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful. |
| - Karl Kraus |
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| Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. |
| - Fran Lebowitz |
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| The people I'm furious with are the women's liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket. |
| - Anita Loos |
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| Women who make men talk better than they are accustomed to are always popular. |
| - E.V. Lucas |
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| Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. |
| - Bill Maher |
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| I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so you can look up her dress. |
| - Steve Martin |
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| The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom. |
| - Guy de Maupassant |
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| A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| A woman asks little of love: only that she be able to feel like a heroine. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don't; if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married? |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Men really prefer reasonably attractive women; they go after the sensational ones to impress other men. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| No woman wants to see herself too clearly. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Women polish the silver and water the plants and wait to be really needed. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over thirty. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Women are never landlocked: they're always mere minutes away from the briny deep of tears. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. |
| - Henry Louis Mencken |
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| I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man. |
| - George Meredith |
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| I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm. |
| - Ogden Nash |
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| Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. |
| - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche |
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| If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. |
| - Aristotle Onassis |
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| Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked. |
| - Ovid |
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| Women are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones. |
| - Camille Paglia |
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| Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. |
| - Laurence J. Peter |
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| Let us leave the beautiful women to men with no imagination. |
| - Marcel Proust |
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| A man chases a woman until she catches him. |
| - American Proverb |
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| You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands? |
| - Will Rogers |
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| The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. |
| - Helen Rowland |
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| I do not spoil women... I don't send them flowers and gifts... I am saving those gestures until I am an unpleasant old man who must resort to bribery to win a woman's synthetic affections. |
| - George Sanders |
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| Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak. |
| - William Shakespeare |
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| Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal. |
| - William Shakespeare |
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| When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. |
| - Gail Sheehy |
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| Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention. |
| - Cornelia Otis Skinner |
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| Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed. |
| - Cornelia Otis Skinner |
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| A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. |
| - Carrie Snow |
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| Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell. |
| - Alfred Lord Tennyson |
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| Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. |
| - James Thurber |
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| Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty. |
| - James Thurber |
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| Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness. |
| - Marie de Vichy-Chamrond |
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| I hate women because they always know where things are. |
| - Voltaire |
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| Brains are an asset, if you hide them. |
| - Mae West |
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| Curve: The loveliest distance between two points. |
| - Mae West |
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| Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. |
| - Charlotte Whitton |
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| Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. |
| - Oscar Wilde |
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| A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. |
| - Oscar Wilde |
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| Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace. |
| - Marianne Williamson |
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