Sports Quotations
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| If horses can't eat it, I won't play on it. | |||
| - Dick Allen | |||
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| Life is simply a cricket match, with temptation as the bowler. | |||
| - Unknown Author | |||
| The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle. | |||
| - Unknown Author | |||
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| I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.... It's not like it was when I was growing up. My mom and my grandmother told me how it was going to be. If I didn't like it, they said, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out." Parents have to take better control. | |||
| - Charles Barkley | |||
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| To dope the racer is as criminal, as sacrilegious, as trying to imitate God; it is stealing from God the privilege of the spark. | |||
| - Roland Barthes | |||
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| Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical. | |||
| - Yogi Berra | |||
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| Sport strips away personality, letting the white bone of character shine through. Sport gives players an opportunity to know and test themselves. | |||
| - Rita Mae Brown | |||
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| The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order. | |||
| - Neville Cardus | |||
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| Every sport pretends to a literature, but people don't believe it of any other sport but their own. | |||
| - Alistair Cooke | |||
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| My only feeling about superstition is that it's unlucky to be behind at the end of the game. | |||
| - Duffy Daugherty | |||
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| If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. | |||
| - Phyllis Diller | |||
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| If I lose at play, I blaspheme; if my fellow loses, he blasphemes. So, God is always the loser. | |||
| - John Donne | |||
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| When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw up your taxes. | |||
| - Don Drysdale | |||
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| Prize fighters can sometimes read and write when they start - but they can't when they finish. | |||
| - Martin H. Fischer | |||
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| To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. | |||
| - Jack Handey | |||
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| I was called "Rembrandt" Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas. | |||
| - Bob Hope | |||
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| We are inclined that if we watch a football game or baseball game, we have taken part in it. | |||
| - John F. Kennedy | |||
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| When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury. | |||
| - Fran Lebowitz | |||
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| Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor. | |||
| - Abe Lemons | |||
| One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good. | |||
| - Abe Lemons | |||
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| I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee. | |||
| - Jay Leno | |||
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| If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? | |||
| - Vince Lombardi | |||
| We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. | |||
| - Vince Lombardi | |||
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| It may be that all games are silly. But then, so are humans. | |||
| - Robert S. Lynd | |||
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| Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. | |||
| - Lord Mancroft | |||
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| All a manager has to do is keep eleven players happy - the eleven in the reserves. The first team are happy because they are in the first team. | |||
| - Rodney Marsh | |||
| Most people are in a factory from nine till five. Their job may be to turn out 263 little circles. At the end of the week they're three short and somebody has a go at them. On Saturday afternoons they deserve something to go and shout about. | |||
| - Rodney Marsh | |||
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| Losing streaks are funny. If you lose at the beginning, you get off to a bad start. If you lose in the middle of the season, you're in a slump. If you lose at the end, you're choking. | |||
| - Gene Mauch | |||
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| Winning is overrated. The only time it is really important is in surgery and war. | |||
| - Al McGuire | |||
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| It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. | |||
| - Henry Louis Mencken | |||
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| The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel. | |||
| - Robert Morley | |||
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| Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words, it is war minus the shooting... there are quite enough real causes of trouble already, and we need not add to them by encouraging young men to kick each other on the shins amid the roars of infuriated spectators. | |||
| - George Orwell | |||
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| Thus so wretched is man that he would weary even without any cause for weariness... and so frivolous is he that, though full of a thousand reasons for weariness, the least thing, such as playing billiards or hitting a ball, is sufficient enough to amuse him. | |||
| - Blaise Pascal | |||
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| Not every age is fit for childish sports. | |||
| - Titus Maccius Plautus | |||
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| Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened. | |||
| - Rita Rudner | |||
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| Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren't we all? | |||
| - Vin Scully | |||
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| If all the year were playing holidays; To sport would be as tedious as to work. | |||
| - William Shakespeare | |||
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| It is a noteworthy fact that kicking and beating have played so considerable a part in the habits which necessity has imposed on mankind in past ages that the only way of preventing civilized men from beating and kicking their wives is to organize games in which they can kick and beat balls. | |||
| - George Bernard Shaw | |||
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| The Russians have a weapon that can wipe out two hundred eighty thousand Americans. That puts them exactly ten years behind Howard Cosell. | |||
| - Red Smith | |||
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| I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles. | |||
| - Sam Snead | |||
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| Most games are lost, not won. | |||
| - Casey Stengel | |||
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| I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it is known as the biathlon, except in New York City, where it is known as winter. | |||
| - Michael Ventre | |||
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| I always turn to the sports section first. The sports section records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures. | |||
| - Earl Warren | |||
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| I cannot for the life of me see why the umpires, the only two people on a cricket field who are not going to get grass stains on their knees, are the only two people allowed to wear dark trousers. | |||
| - Katharine Whitehorn | |||
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| Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings. | |||
| - George Will | |||
| Sports serve society by providing vivid examples of excellence. | |||
| - George Will | |||
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| Cricket is baseball on valium. | |||
| - Robin Williams | |||
| I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church. | |||
| - Robin Williams | |||