Skiing Quotations

Unknown Author

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Stretch pants - the garment that made skiing a spectator sport.

- Unknown Author

Skiing is the only sport where you spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg.

- Unknown Author

Skiing: the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.

- Unknown Author

Dave Barry

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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

- Dave Barry

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.... I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

- Dave Barry

Erma Bombeck

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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.

- Erma Bombeck

Lord Mancroft

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There are really only three things to learn in skiing: how to put on your skis, how to slide downhill, and how to walk along the hospital corridor.

- Lord Mancroft

P.J. O'Rourke

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The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars' worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk.

- P.J. O'Rourke

Michael Ventre

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I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it is known as the biathlon, except in New York City, where it is known as winter.

- Michael Ventre

Steven Wright

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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

- Steven Wright