Parents Quotations
Authors that have more than 2 quotes:
Bill Cosby,
Mignon McLaughlin
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| Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does. |
| - Joey Adams |
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| In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.... It's not like it was when I was growing up. My mom and my grandmother told me how it was going to be. If I didn't like it, they said, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out." Parents have to take better control. |
| - Charles Barkley |
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| Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. |
| - Dave Barry |
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| To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. |
| - Josh Billings |
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| When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. |
| - Erma Bombeck |
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| Always kiss your children goodnight, even if they're already asleep. |
| - H. Jackson Jr. Brown |
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| Diogenes struck the father when the son swore. |
| - Robert Burton |
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| Give me the life of the boy whose mother is nurse, seamstress, washerwoman, cook, teacher, angel, and saint, all in one, and whose father is guide, exemplar, and friend. No servants to come between. These are the boys who are born to the best fortune. |
| - Andrew Carnegie |
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| There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. |
| - Hodding Carter |
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| A child, like your stomach, doesn't need all you can afford to give it. |
| - Frank A. Clark |
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| Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry. |
| - Bill Cosby |
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| Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. |
| - Bill Cosby |
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| In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to discipline a child is still a mystery to most fathers and... mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it. |
| - Bill Cosby |
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| In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage. |
| - Bill Cosby |
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| No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. |
| - Bill Cosby |
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| Parents are not interested in justice; they are interested in quiet. |
| - Bill Cosby |
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| Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage. |
| - Marcelene Cox |
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| My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. |
| - Quentin Crisp |
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| If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent. |
| - Bette Davis |
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| If your parents didn't have any children, there's a good chance that you won't have any. |
| - Clarence Day |
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| The problem with children is that you have to put up with their parents. |
| - Charles DeLint |
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| It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. |
| - Phyllis Diller |
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| A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp. |
| - Raymond Duncan |
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| Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. |
| - William Feather |
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| You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. He is more particular.... The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat. |
| - Robert Frost |
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| Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. |
| - Robert Fulghum |
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| If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others. |
| - Haim G. Ginott |
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| Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it. |
| - Haim G. Ginott |
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| As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it. |
| - Buddy Hackett |
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| The beauty of "spacing" children many years apart lies in the fact that parents have time to learn the mistakes that were made with the older ones - which permits them to make exactly the opposite mistakes with the younger ones. |
| - Sydney J. Harris |
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| Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. |
| - Robert A. Heinlein |
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| A child enters your home and for the next twenty years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. The child departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad. |
| - John Andrew Holmes |
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| Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough. |
| - Edgar Watson Howe |
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| Your children need your presence more than your presents. |
| - Jesse Jackson |
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| What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give. |
| - P.D. James |
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| If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves. |
| - C.G. Jung |
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| Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it. |
| - Jean Kerr |
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| It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. |
| - Barbara Kingsolver |
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| From the moment of birth, when the Stone-Age baby confronts the twentieth-century mother, the baby is subjected to these forces of violence called love, as its father and mother and their parents and their parents before them, have been. These forces are mainly concerned with destroying most of its potential. |
| - R.D. Laing |
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| Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. |
| - Fran Lebowitz |
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| Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. |
| - Fran Lebowitz |
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| Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids. |
| - Sam Levenson |
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| A young lady is a female child who has just done something dreadful. |
| - Judith Martin |
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| A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Hot dogs always seem better out than at home; so do French-fried potatoes; so do your children. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| If your children spend most of their time in other people's houses, you're lucky; if they all congregate at your house, you're blessed. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Likely as not, the child you can do the least with will do the most to make you proud. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| The ideal home: big enough for you to hear the children, but not very well. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Your children tell you casually years later what it would have killed you with worry to know at the time. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Your children vividly remember every unkind thing you ever did to them, plus a few you really didn't. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| What's done to children, they will do to society. |
| - Karl Menninger |
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| Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. |
| - P.J. O'Rourke |
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| Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time. |
| - P.J. O'Rourke |
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| The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. |
| - Lane Olinghouse |
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| There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. |
| - Chinese Proverb |
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| You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once. |
| - Polish Proverb |
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| How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board. It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted. |
| - Sir Walter Scott |
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| If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example. |
| - George Bernard Shaw |
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| There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst. |
| - George Bernard Shaw |
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| Simply having children does not make mothers. |
| - John A. Shedd |
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| Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child. |
| - Gail Sheehy |
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| The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering. |
| - Benjamin Spock |
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| Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. |
| - Gloria Steinem |
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| Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. |
| - Charles R. Swindoll |
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| If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. |
| - Abigail Van Buren |
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| Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them. |
| - Oscar Wilde |
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