Men Quotations
Authors that have more than 2 quotes:
Mignon McLaughlin,
Helen Rowland,
Mae West,
Oscar Wilde
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| Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Guys are like roses. You've got to watch out for the pricks. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| I'm a babe magnet... just the wrong end. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Jesus was a typical man - they always say they'll come back but you never see them again. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Some men have a den in their home, while others just growl all over the house. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Three wise men - are you serious? |
| - Unknown Author |
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| What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| Men are beasts and even beasts don't behave as they do. |
| - Brigitte Bardot |
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| Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. |
| - Roseanne Barr |
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| The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything. |
| - Dave Barry |
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| Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse. |
| - Dave Barry |
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| What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? |
| - Erma Bombeck |
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| If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle. |
| - Rita Mae Brown |
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| Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. |
| - Robert Byrne |
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| The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs. |
| - Marlene Dietrich |
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| If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? |
| - Linda Ellerbee |
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| There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me. |
| - John Erskine |
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| The analysis of man discloses three chemical elements - a job, a meal and a woman. |
| - Martin H. Fischer |
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| Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch. |
| - Ian Fleming |
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| I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? |
| - Zsa Zsa Gabor |
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| Macho doesn't prove mucho. |
| - Zsa Zsa Gabor |
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| My theory is that men are no more liberated than women. |
| - Indira Gandhi |
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| When you see a woman who can go nowhere without a staff of admirers, it is not so much because they think she is beautiful, it is because she has told them they are handsome. |
| - Jean Giraudoux |
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| Women are one of the Almighty's enigmas to prove to men that He knows more than they do. |
| - Ellen Glasgow |
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| I make presents to the mother but think of the daughter. |
| - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
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| The tragedy of machismo is that a man is never quite man enough. |
| - Germaine Greer |
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| My boyfriend asked me why women think firemen are sexy, so I explained the pole theory: Men love women who slide down poles, and women love men who slide down poles. Subject dropped. |
| - Terri Guillemets |
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| All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others. |
| - Cynthia Heimel |
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| Alas! it is not the child but the boy that generally survives in the man. |
| - Arthur Helps |
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| Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. |
| - Katharine Hepburn |
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| Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. |
| - Katharine Hepburn |
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| Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. |
| - Frank Mckinney Hubbard |
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| Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. |
| - Erica Jong |
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| Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. |
| - Jean Kerr |
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| Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house. |
| - Jean Kerr |
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| Men lose more conquests by their own awkwardness than by any virtue in the woman. |
| - Ninon de Lenclos |
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| They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. |
| - Clare Booth Luce |
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| A man's home may be his castle on the outside; inside, it is more often his nursery. |
| - Clare Booth Luce |
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| Men are only as loyal as their options. |
| - Bill Maher |
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| There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. |
| - Steve Martin |
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| Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he's going to wind up wanting hasn't even been born. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It's possible that both are right. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| There's nothing wrong with most men's egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can't cure. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Women are the right age for just a few years; men, for most of their lives. |
| - Mignon McLaughlin |
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| Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that. |
| - Golda Meir |
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| A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. |
| - Henry Louis Mencken |
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| Don't accept rides from strange men - and remember that all men are as strange as hell. |
| - Robin Morgan |
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| Some men are so macho they'll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit. |
| - Maureen Murphy |
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| I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink. |
| - George Jean Nathan |
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| There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper. |
| - Camille Paglia |
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| It's a man's world, and you men can have it. |
| - Katherine Anne Porter |
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| Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. |
| - Andy Rooney |
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| Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. |
| - Helen Rowland |
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| A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest. |
| - Helen Rowland |
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| A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant. |
| - Helen Rowland |
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| It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. |
| - Helen Rowland |
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| The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. |
| - Helen Rowland |
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| The old theory was "Marry an older man, because they're more mature." But the new theory is: "Men don't mature. Marry a younger one." |
| - Rita Rudner |
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| When it comes to hiding porn, every man is a CIA agent. |
| - S. Sachs |
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| Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. |
| - Jerry Seinfeld |
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| Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man. |
| - William Shakespeare |
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| The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. |
| - Madame de Staël |
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| Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel. |
| - William Makepeace Thackeray |
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| A hard man is good to find. |
| - Mae West |
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| A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. |
| - Mae West |
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| Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. |
| - Mae West |
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| It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men. |
| - Mae West |
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| He is every other inch a gentleman. |
| - Rebecca West |
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| No nice men are good at getting taxis. |
| - Katharine Whitehorn |
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| All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. |
| - Oscar Wilde |
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| A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position. |
| - Oscar Wilde |
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| Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are. |
| - Oscar Wilde |
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| God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time. |
| - Robin Williams |
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| Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses providing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man as twice its natural size. |
| - Virginia Woolf |
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