Gambling Quotations
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| A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. | |||
| - Unknown Author | |||
| Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money. | |||
| - Unknown Author | |||
| Games of chance are traps to catch school boy novies and gaping country squires, who begin with a guinea and end with a mortgage. | |||
| - Unknown Author | |||
| In a bet there is a fool and a thief. | |||
| - Unknown Author | |||
| In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there. | |||
| - Unknown Author | |||
| Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. | |||
| - Unknown Author | |||
| There is but one good throw upon the dice, which is, to throw them away. | |||
| - Unknown Author | |||
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| One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds. | |||
| - Dan Bennett | |||
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| A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope. | |||
| - William Bolitho | |||
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| The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil. | |||
| - Heywood Broun | |||
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| The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself. | |||
| - Nick Dandalos | |||
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| You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it. | |||
| - Albert Einstein | |||
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| Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people. | |||
| - W.C. Fields | |||
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| The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. | |||
| - Kin Hubbard | |||
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| Horse racing is animated roulette. | |||
| - Roger Kahn | |||
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| A number of moralists condemn lotteries and refuse to see anything noble in the passion of the ordinary gambler. They judge gambling as some atheists judge religion, by its excesses. | |||
| - Charles Lamb | |||
| Man is a gaming animal. He must always be trying to get the better in something or other. | |||
| - Charles Lamb | |||
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| I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely. | |||
| - Joe E. Lewis | |||
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| Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something. | |||
| - Wilson Mizner | |||
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| Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face. | |||
| - VP Pappy | |||
| If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough. | |||
| - VP Pappy | |||
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| Luck never gives; it only lends. | |||
| - Swedish Proverb | |||
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| At the gambling table, there are no fathers and sons. | |||
| - Chinese Proverb | |||
| If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. | |||
| - Chinese Proverb | |||
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| You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. | |||
| - Will Rogers | |||
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| Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. | |||
| - Gloria Steinem | |||
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| The better the gambler, the worse the man. | |||
| - Publilius Syrus | |||
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| A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. | |||
| - Mark Twain | |||
| Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed. | |||
| - Mark Twain | |||
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| I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five. | |||
| - Henny Youngman | |||