Football Quotations
Authors that have more than 2 quotes:
Erma Bombeck
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| Trying to maintain order during a legalized gang brawl involving 80 toughs with a little whistle, a hanky and a ton of prayer. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| One of the great disappointments of a football game is that the cheerleaders never seem to get injured. |
| - Unknown Author |
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| I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body. |
| - Dave Barry |
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| The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean. |
| - Erma Bombeck |
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| If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. |
| - Erma Bombeck |
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| Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. |
| - Erma Bombeck |
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| Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? |
| - Jim Bouton |
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| Football is not a contact sport. It's a collision sport. Dancing is a... contact sport. |
| - Duffy Daugherty |
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| The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public. |
| - Phyllis Diller |
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| There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. |
| - Alfred Hitchcock |
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| College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. |
| - Elbert Hubbard |
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| Australian Rules football might best be described as a game devised for padded cells, played in the open air. |
| - Jim Murray |
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| What about football? Is it a sport or a concussion? |
| - Jim Murray |
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| I do not like football, which I think of as a game in which two tractors approach each other from opposite directions and collide. Besides, I have contempt for a game in which players have to wear so much equipment. Men play basketball in their underwear, which seems just right to me. |
| - Anna Quindlen |
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| When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team. |
| - George Raveling |
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| Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. |
| - George Will |
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| Rugby football is a game I can't claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I mean. I can follow the broad, general principles, of course. I mean to say, I know that the main scheme is to work the ball down the field somehow and deposit it over the line at the other end and that, in order to squalch this programme, each side is allowed to put in a certain amount of assault and battery and do things to its fellowman which, if done elsewhere, would result in fourteen days without the option, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench. |
| - P.G. Wodehouse |
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