Dieting Quotations

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When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.

- Woody Allen

Unknown Author

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Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate!

- Unknown Author

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!

- Unknown Author

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

- Unknown Author

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit.

- Unknown Author

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

- Unknown Author

Don't go out of your weigh to please anyone but yourself.

- Unknown Author

I am a nutritional overachiever.

- Unknown Author

I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me!

- Unknown Author

I'm in shape. Round is a shape... isn't it?

- Unknown Author

I'm on a 90-day wonder diet. Thus far, I've lost 45 days.

- Unknown Author

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

- Unknown Author

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

- Unknown Author

Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.

- Unknown Author

Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends.

- Unknown Author

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.

- Unknown Author

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

- Unknown Author

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals.

- Unknown Author

We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

- Unknown Author

Your stomach shouldn't be a waist basket.

- Unknown Author

Roseanne Barr

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It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.

- Roseanne Barr

Dave Barry

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The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

- Dave Barry

Dan Bennett

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Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.

- Dan Bennett

Erma Bombeck

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I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.

- Erma Bombeck

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

- Erma Bombeck

Colette

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If I can't have too many truffles I'll do without.

- Colette

Cyril Connolly

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The one way to get thin is to reestablish a purpose in life.

- Cyril Connolly

Chauncey M. Depew

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As for food, half of my friends have dug their graves with their teeth.

- Chauncey M. Depew

Benjamin Franklin

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In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.

- Benjamin Franklin

John Kenneth Galbraith

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More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

- John Kenneth Galbraith

Jackie Gleason

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The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it.

- Jackie Gleason

Texas Guinan

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I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they'll find me like a strip of bacon - a streak of lean and a streak of fat.

- Texas Guinan

Horace

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Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it.

- Horace

Thomas Jefferson

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We rarely repent of having eaten too little.

- Thomas Jefferson

Don Kardong

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Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.

- Don Kardong

Jean Kerr

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I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

- Jean Kerr

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.

- Jean Kerr

Harold MacMillan

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History is apt to judge harshly those who sacrifice tomorrow for today.

- Harold MacMillan

Phillip C. McGraw

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Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life.

- Phillip C. McGraw

Mignon McLaughlin

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Forget about calories - everything makes thin people thinner, and fat people fatter.

- Mignon McLaughlin

William Penn

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Eat... to live, and do not live to eat.

- William Penn

Miss Piggy

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Never eat more than you can lift.

- Miss Piggy

Plutarch

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It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears.

- Plutarch

Paula Poundstone

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I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.

- Paula Poundstone

English Proverb

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Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.

- English Proverb

Robert Quillen

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Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back.

- Robert Quillen

Andy Rooney

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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.

- Andy Rooney

William Shakespeare

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They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.

- William Shakespeare

George Bernard Shaw

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No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.

- George Bernard Shaw

Mark Twain

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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.

- Mark Twain

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

- Mark Twain

Peter De Vries

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Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.

- Peter De Vries

Jane Wagner