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Dental Quotations




Unknown Author (top)
Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals.
- Unknown Author
You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep.
- Unknown Author
You know, sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss.
- Unknown Author


Ambrose Bierce (top)
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
- Ambrose Bierce


Johnny Carson (top)
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
- Johnny Carson


Miguel de Cervantes (top)
Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond.
- Miguel de Cervantes


Mason Cooley (top)
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist’s office would be full of luminous ideas.
- Mason Cooley


Martin H. Fischer (top)
I find that most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five.
- Martin H. Fischer
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him.
- Martin H. Fischer


Joseph Heller (top)
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
- Joseph Heller


George Dennison Prentice (top)
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth.
- George Dennison Prentice
Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get.
- George Dennison Prentice


Helen Rowland (top)
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.
- Helen Rowland


George Bernard Shaw (top)
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound.
- George Bernard Shaw


Mark Twain (top)
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
- Mark Twain