| When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Baseball] |
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| Can we actually "know" the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Random] |
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| The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Random] |
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| I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Marriage] |
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| What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop? |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Basketball] |
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| Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Homosexuality] |
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| I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Racism] |
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| Eighty percent of success is showing up. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Success] |
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| Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Reality] |
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| There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Vices] |
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| What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Dreams] |
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| I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Laughter] |
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| Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Money] |
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| I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Death] [Life] |
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| I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Death] |
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| It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Death] |
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| On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Death] |
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| There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Death] |
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| In Beverley Hills, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into television shows. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Television] |
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| Summing up, it is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock. |
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- Woody Allen |
more quotations on [Life] [Opportunity] |
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