| England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Baseball] |
|
| One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has been allowed to run down fearfully. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Baseball] |
|
| It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Writing] |
|
| Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Humor] |
|
| Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Music] |
|
| For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Perspective] |
|
| Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Alcohol] |
|
| Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini? |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Alcohol] |
|
| There are several ways in which to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Money] |
|
| A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Dogs] |
|
| Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Dogs] |
|
| I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Health] |
|
| In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Childhood] [Travel] |
|
| Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. |
| |
- Robert Benchley |
more quotations on [Procrastination] [Work] |
|
