| I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee. |
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- Jay Leno |
more quotations on [Sports] |
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| A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers. |
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- Jay Leno |
more quotations on [Government] |
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| If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. |
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- Jay Leno |
more quotations on [Politics] |
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| The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. |
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- Jay Leno |
more quotations on [Holidays] |
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| Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time you wake up you'll feel so good, you'll be able to start looking for a new job. |
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- Jay Leno |
more quotations on [Jobs] |
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