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Jack Handey Quotations

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To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
  - Jack Handey more quotations on [Sports]
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.
  - Jack Handey more quotations on [Alcohol]
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
  - Jack Handey more quotations on [Laughter]
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
  - Jack Handey more quotations on [Life]
Viewing quotes 1 to 4 (4 total) [page 1]