| Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror. |
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- George Carlin |
more quotations on [Baseball] |
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| Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. |
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- George Carlin |
more quotations on [Perspective] |
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| Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that... |
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- George Carlin |
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| I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. |
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- George Carlin |
more quotations on [Religion] |
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| I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. |
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- George Carlin |
more quotations on [Religion] |
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| Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. |
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- George Carlin |
more quotations on [Death] |
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| Fuck all the people who say, "God bless," and then don't bother to complete the sentence. Who they are, I haven't the slightest. But, if I were God, I would not honor such a request. |
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- George Carlin |
more quotations on [God] |
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| I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed. |
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- George Carlin |
more quotations on [Change] |
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| There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. |
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- George Carlin |
more quotations on [Night] |
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| With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet. |
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- George Carlin |
more quotations on [Abortion] |
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