| A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| Imitation is the sincerest form of television. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| Television is the triumph of machine over people. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| The triumph of machine over people. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| Everything is for the eye these days - TV, Life, Look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all. |
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- Fred Allen |
more quotations on [Society] [Television] |
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| I'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host. |
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- Fred Allen |
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| I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. |
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- Fred Allen |
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