Fran Lebowitz Quotations

Viewing quotes 1 to 15 (15 total)

When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with whom I share nothing except the right to trial by jury.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Sports]

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Parents]

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Parents]

Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Homosexuality]

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Success]

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Art]

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater... suggest that he wear a tail.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Dogs]

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Food]

Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Food]

My favorite animal is steak.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Food]

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Food]

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Women]

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Teenagers]

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Childhood]

Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
	- Fran Lebowitz	more quotations on [Sleep] [Life]

Viewing quotes 1 to 15 (15 total)

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